Phobia

She was always with me,
in every thought and every dream.
She came before and after,
always hiding within each scream.

I always felt her,
as I looked down from a hill.
Standing behind me,
crippling my will.

Kicking and crawling,
I would try to abate her.
All efforts were futile,
as she was always near.

She caught me by my nerves,
steadily, she grew like cancer.
“How do I let go?”
Such questions had no answer.

She stood before my freedom,
always pulling me back.
Struggling, I’d succumb,
as she’d remind me of all I lack.

I told her she meant nothing,
yet she refused to go.
Hiding beneath my skin,
and piercing me from below.

While others laughed and joked,
I struggled to climb and walk.
If they knew how I felt,
they’d realize it’s not all talk.

While she grew stronger,
I remained bound and confined.
Not going anywhere,
or else she may return to remind.

I knew she had to go,
after taking away many of my years.
Yet she held on,
the epitome of all my fears.

Extricate

Why must you face anguish?
Why should you live a lie?
What’s the point in holding on,
if parts of you slowly die?

Don’t be subdued by anyone,
people shouldn’t determine your fate.
Your are your own master,
Your will no one can subjugate.

Maybe happiness is flawed,
but the same goes for despair.
Why writhe and suffer in dismay,
and leave your soul impaired?

Don’t let people chain you,
don’t be bound by petty things,
empty promises and façades,
feigned love and shiny rings.

Letting go is the first step,
emptying yourself from within.
Realizing who you are,
and waiting for the magic to begin.

Forget everything you know,
forgive mistakes of the past.
Embrace and love yourself,
then you’ll be free at last.

Suffering is pointless,
for the love of another.
Especially when they leave you,
in your own misery to wither.

Why should you be treated,
like trash on a crowded street?
Why should you feel inferior,
when your ends no one can meet?

To keep you tangled,
there’s so much they’ll want to say.
Just know that there’s a difference,
between giving up and walking away.

This temple is my treasure,
it is mine to love and keep.
I look after and protect it,
it’s the place where I live and sleep.

My heart lies within it,
it cradles my mind and soul.
I know all its secrets,
from every corner and every hole.

The temple shares its blessings,
by holding and guiding me.
In my darkest hours,
its radiance lets me see.

Within these sacred grounds,
its sanctity must not be fazed.
Those who come to defile,
with extreme prejudice, they must be erased.

But I tend to forget,
everything that I’ve been told.
“This temple belongs to no one,”
it is not mine to hold.

So I watch from a distance,
as vagrants come, loot and take,
all that I hold sacred,
as parts of my soul slowly break.

The temple’s doors are open,
even for the filthy, they never shut.
Its loyal devotee crumbles,
while others desecrate it like a slut.

Thoughts overlap,
like wild waves at shore.
Gushing violently,
can’t breathe anymore.

What has become,
what does the future hold?
Visions in the distant,
mysteries yet to unfold.

Pondering incessantly,
over what may come ahead.
Uncertainty is a vice,
that’ll keep you awake in bed.

The past often bites,
eating away a part of your soul.
Unable to hold the present,
tomorrow crumbles whole.

Doubts raise their heads,
surety is bound to doom.
Pillars of predefined notions break,
better conscience falls to gloom.

The stars won’t reveal tomorrow,
nor will crystal balls that are spun.
All the answers are safely hidden,
in the wake of the rising sun.

Forget what you think,
forgo what you know.
Plant the seeds of change,
and reap what you sow.

You can make your decisions,
based on what you feel, hear and see.
Stop seeking glimpses of the future,
you are where you need to be.