I come from a country that has mastered the art of diversification. The moment you step a foot into this so called great nation, you can see it, smell it and feel it. I come from a land that judges you, discriminates against you, and in some aspects destroys you for being a little or too different from whatever garbage their parents and forefathers have spoon-fed them since their conception. We literally divide everything – caste, class, community, religion, region, state, city, language, thought, man and woman – under the visage of democracy and secularism, we are so divided that you could throw a hair pin in the cracks between us and not even hear it hit the bottom. It isn’t even the division that disgusts me, I understand they are the basis for identification, what pisses me off is how we view them.
A couple of days back, I got into an argument with my colleagues over something that I faintly recall. I don’t remember what instigated it but I do remember the context in which they spoke. Cutting all the bullshit, one of them said – “when your girlfriend or wife’s hole is wider than your dick then you’ll understand.” I was taken aback by it. What was I to conclude? Moreover, with the women in my department keeping quiet, what was I to say? Is the “love” that Indian men have for their spouses limited to the size of their vaginas? Is my love limited only to sex? Do I have to resort to asking my future wife to spread her legs so I can examine her vagina to see if it fits my penis? To see if she’s a virgin and how many times she’s been fucked? Then what of the men? These people and others who think in a similar fashion, can they even respect their mothers?
Think about it, some of our parents have been married for over 20 years or so. Think about the times they’ve indulged in sexual intercourse. Think about the fact that our mothers have given birth to us. Would you say your mother’s vagina is loose? Is that the reason why most men visit brothels and have affairs – Because of a loose vagina? Is that supposed to be our basis for every relationship we have had up until now? Am I to pick my lover based on her sex life? Then what of the man? So in India, I am to conclude that a man can have sex with a hundred women and not be judged but if a woman sleeps with three men she cannot be trusted? Just so you didn’t know, in India there’s this fucked up logic wherein if a girl sleeps with 3 different guys she cannot be trusted. It’s called the “Three Dick Rule”. Yes, that’s how fucked up the men of my country are.
I have had sex with women who are sexually enlightened. I’ve learned from them, we’ve shared so much more than just our bodies and I respect them. They are still my friends, my equals. When two people form a connection, I don’t think their sexual appetite, the size of their genitals or the amount of people they have had sex with should matter at all. It is about feelings, cooperation, how well you support and complement each other. It is about growing together in love and not measuring each other’s genitals. What ticked me off the most was how much they undermined women and viewed them as some cheap commodity that can be used to get some load off, while gratifying themselves because they have a penis. There is not a trace of introspection in them. I do not care if I fall in love with a prostitute, I will marry her, not for her vagina but for the fact that I see something special in her and she reciprocates those feelings. Nothing else matters.
As far as I am concerned, sex, attention or the means to start a family was never the basis of my relationship with a woman. I’ve viewed them as a means to learn and grow. I’ve viewed them as friends, as sisters, as lovers, as companions, someone I can depend on, as colleagues, as competition, just as I would view any other man. The barriers and distinctions that we create and hardwire into our thick skulls are just blatant illusions we’ve conjured out of thin air. They do not exist. Never have and never will. To grow and achieve the highest pinnacle of human evolution, we need to learn from each other, accept each other and love each other. Most importantly, we must know, accept and love ourselves first – without which we are just a bunch of bitter, insecure, narrow-minded pricks infesting a beautiful planet.
The Void Of Nothingness 